Dating as a Woman with a Disability

How might a disability complicate dating and relationships? In this essay, Parvathy Gopakumar shares the challenges she faces as a person with a prosthetic hand.

When it comes to dating, Gopakumar often experiences microaggressions from potential partners, friends, and family members. She is singled out as someone who is different from other girls and is offered sympathy and pity. For example, a boy she is dating said, “I know there are a lot of good girls, but I like you.” She also overhears comments from her aunts like, “She will get married in ten years, but only someone with an extremely large heart can love her.” Comments like these contribute to Gopakumar's feelings of inferiority and they affect her self-esteem.

She notes that while she has a lot going for her, people struggle to see beyond her disability when dating. Gopakumar isn’t giving up on dating, but now she asks people to keep their comments to themselves.

If the fact that I am an independent, strong woman doesn’t help my case, I don’t know what will. People compliment me on my wit, my sense of humour, my ‘cute’ face and even my sense of style. But when it comes to dating, my most dominant feature seems to be my prosthetic hand.

SOURCE: Skin Stories on Medium • AUTHOR: Parvathy Gopakumar • LAST UPDATED: February 27, 2018