My Story: Explaining How Harmful Internalized Misogyny Is for Society

By Saniya Ghanoui —

XY talks about some reasons women may feel the need to put other women down in society.


OBOS Today: I think you mentioned that other women so often don’t believe other women because they themselves don’t go through that. Why do you think that is? Why do you think they’d be so quick to judge another woman or be so quick as to take on this form of internalized misogyny?  

XY: Ooooh. So, internalized misogyny is right. I think we are brought up to because, because the odds are against us that so many women think that we have to step on other women to get what we want and having the scarcity mindset that because it is already so hard for us individually, that we don’t want other women to impede on the progress that we ourselves as individuals have made, if that makes sense. And, um, so yeah, internalized misogyny is like, the short answer. Um, and I’m pretty sure anyone who googles can get a wealth of information, but my elaboration on that is that we are made to believe made to believe there is limited seats at any table that we go to, and hence we are to fight other women to get there and that is just not true.  

OBOS Today: Yeah, yeah, that’s a really good point that, you know, we often feel that we need to view other women as competition and therefore, that the only way to get to where we need to is by stepping on someone who is already vulnerable or that you know is already in a possibly lesser place than you are.  

XY: Yeah, I think one of the examples that is probably more tangible for listeners to grasp is, um, there was, there was movements that are advocated for uh, menstrual health day. And there are women who went against that who said, “That’s a lie, that’s a myth. It’s just a way for lazy people to not work. Um, I don’t, I don’t suffer from cramps, those women shouldn’t too. I’m a woman, she’s a woman. I’m a person who menstruates, she’s also a person who menstruates or they are also people who menstruate so, why so different? Um, I don’t believe them because I don’t have it.” So, like, this kind of is a more tangible example I can give that kinda demonstrates the scarcity mindset and the infighting that happens.