---
title: I Figured I was Guaranteed a Smooth Pregnancy
date: 2023-04-28T19:42:37-04:00
author: OBOS Admin
canonical_url: "https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-i-figured-i-was-guaranteed-a-smooth-pregnancy"
section: "Stories & Conversations"
---
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[Stories & Conversations](/stories-conversations)# I Figured I was Guaranteed a Smooth Pregnancy

By Lara Freidenfelds

When I miscarried my first pregnancy at 11 weeks, I was shocked, and very sad. I had no idea that first-trimester miscarriages were common, and I was healthy and young, so I figured I was guaranteed a smooth pregnancy.

I went to my midwife with some bleeding, and when she couldn’t find a heartbeat with the Doppler, she asked an obstetrics colleague to take an ultrasound. He pointed to an empty embryonic sac, and told me that the pregnancy actually ended at about 6 weeks, and my body reabsorbed the embryo.

At that point, I didn’t know how to feel, or what to think about this unexpected loss. I went online and to my pregnancy guides, and they all told me that women grieve an early loss as much as the loss of a born child, and that I needed to take time to grieve. I wasn’t convinced that this was the only possible way to feel. I am a women’s historian, so I also went to my history books. They reminded me that before ultrasounds and home pregnancy tests, a woman in my situation would probably have concluded that she was never really pregnant in the first place: it would have been seen as a very late period, or pregnancy materials that started to mix together, but never took the form of a child.

I decided that for me, the best thing would be to try to get pregnant again right away. I didn’t want to dwell on the pregnancy that had failed; I wanted to do what I could to have a baby. I stayed away from the hype on pregnancy websites, though, because I realized that while I would take good care of my body and spirit, I did not want to be emotionally “expecting” until I was pretty sure that my pregnancy was meant to be.

I got pregnant again in a few months, and had my first child. A few years later, my third pregnancy worked out as well. Now I have two teenagers.

I am open about my experience, because about 20% of confirmed pregnancies miscarry, mostly in the first trimester. I want my friends to understand how pregnancy works before they get pregnant themselves, so that they can start with realistic expectations, and not be as shocked as I was if a pregnancy miscarries.

While my miscarriage was not, in retrospect, a huge event in my life, it became central to my work for over a decade. As a historian, I wanted to investigate why Americans came to have unrealistic expectations about early pregnancy, and how early pregnancy losses went from being an accepted part of reproductive life to a devastating loss for many people. I wrote a book, *The Myth of the Perfect Pregnancy: A History of Miscarriage in America*, to explain why experiences of pregnancy changed so dramatically over the past 250 years, and how we might want to think about early pregnancy and miscarriage in the future.

![](/assets/img/monogram.webp)Topics

- [ pregnancy & birth](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/subject-area/pregnancy-birth)
- [miscarriage](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/tags/miscarriage)
- [death and dying](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/tags/death-and-dying)

![](/assets/img/monogram.webp)### *Why You Can* **Trust Us** 

- We rigorously evaluate all content
- We embrace a reproductive justice framework
- We don’t accept ads or sell products
- We reject funding from the pharmaceutical industry
- We counter misinformation and disinformation
- We address the social, political, and economic factors that affect health and sexuality

[read more](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/why-you-can-trust-us)

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##### More to Explore

[Stories & ConversationsRead

## Mortality

lana Goldhaber-Gordon reflects on her profoundly different emotional experiences of pregnancy and miscarriage in the U.S. and in Israel ten years later.

![miscarriage](data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACAAAAAgCAIAAAD8GO2jAAAACXBIWXMAAA7EAAAOxAGVKw4bAAAE60lEQVRIiU1WW5IjyQ0DmCn1zP7s0fcGPolvZIc/PDvdXZkksB/MUncFQypVUUDyTf77X38ZKHvLS77Kl/ApX+BGKAJzzjmfj/n2fPx8Pn485s/HeBvjMeJBBgzZVbVz71zXWte+rr3WXiurKgzYhnEEeH3xfH69aKVWB2DYxteT/oHzpK9p27bc2n0BAA3QBOBmMm2coxi2ZRMGIN8g3xFaD1OSAdkSvl77WECYMH2jy5BsWjTQBNa5LEvfmWB7pgSj7PPfc0YeAvubCI1RFCi7SL9iUKoXky1bbUFmtZVplG9TQIJEhE07rJAooQTKhIA6/gMklSqrmqaZbkNmVhqQUbfYAAgG0b5gKA56lAvC6OODkAFbVZWVWVlVOhxly55rZ/tcRoEyBBokEQGYtMIKkSpka7oUIE10YCQdgqzMqjsmkufa24BBAwILFGkEAhQIkgyKJOskoEYUaZL4RlBqC1pejpqfe+OkJc2WAA2AAZohkidTbSsCRZPBuypsyR2ALGVVpkoqycK81jr1xOi4MgaicxQBBhm6CWRRIAwWbvRDcECr3DeSbcyPawHtiCBHjIhAjEYkSerkK2RTAnQX9Qu90UquTuNvpTA/rosAo685NOY8FqFD0MnIAP2qYp+E1iGwS1YXky3g1X3mx+cnyIgYMebUww+ABKMrgU0jwwANWx1UtxNK+gYNvVoa2d1ovn9+khwx5pySYRIcpBmmwDBEEk3SCSNXVZZKynJZL3SQfp2M/CKYYz5KNnhbM0KWTRkwoh1zgpm1qzKVVVnK0xhgEBENgQiSJOfvj48g53y8PQQgGCPmjKoYIyQGYUEALJ9E3LmzdubO2qWUqj0ewZYR0TfkfP94D8bjkbYP+sgccw5XOWjiLtgmyNpZa2fLbl+1a4McbfyI4QiTnL/ff0fEW/0gOGLO+dipOZWlCIe6tdK2pCzv1MpaO6+da+2VlVLZBjkihmJ4TI/mYMzf7/8fMVUKjjmez1k5K0tZHsOUDRC2UULKW9qlVVpZV1Yb0cnBijE8Zk8ghBzh+fvv/8z5E8Ycz+d8W898lh7llEOG7uloSN7yFpa8SlcTZO2ssgHGiCHPTlOzvTTff30+Hp+B+Zw/1zP31k7t8iizgOjkg40y01jyEi5j2Ze0qnZVyQTCYxq+x+CQHZ7v/8XzD8z433r7c+/cVbu8y0OgAKHYleYy0lzgApZ9Gcu47LSaYNyzhCBMD0R4fhb8Cz/eav9x7aw+/iqHAMHqkobBMrexDwcX0JKGLBpio4sQXRAcMRcwgPyF/HNlVqNPIQQYMoYJsGdkIhZ5gYst2ESy24hhhRlQoELEgOlpQEBdqLUyldUbGEKAKCHiNJYCN7gPeqyIHbGDRZgIgHbAoySzoiiAmAPoyVF7VTnLKWwhBAtlRi8uTUBuxmKs4CZ3MCMU3Xl8mhUlU2IFDc8JHI7cJaW85SHQkDHNrmUThUhok4vcjIzIiAoqglHUGde9sIhmCeR8fBGUhDJS2AYFm2WEgZNQSMYm2zM72OgOInrW2oD12tFgxBw3AaokV3MYrR4+OWSy6DQT3GQyKqLaP8dFrznHs0nCsOYAognU0+psR60fPWXunSOJJIssQqTu7s+gyVPCOAOzN+AZZwc9o6hdobOK0e7ZiS67AgUWGr0LtufKvcl+rdewTfMf4u0QxTRDz9EAAAAASUVORK5CYII=)

lana Goldhaber-Gordon reflects on her profoundly different emotional experiences of pregnancy and miscarriage in the U.S. and in Israel ten years later.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-mortality)

[Stories & ConversationsWatch

## Experiencing Fatphobia after My Miscarriage

EH shares how their experience with fatphobia in medical systems has increased, with doctors focusing on their weight more than their health concerns.

![Elise](data:image/png;base64,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)

EH shares how their experience with fatphobia in medical systems has increased, with doctors focusing on their weight more than their health concerns.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-experiencing-fatphobia-after-my-miscarriage)

[Stories & ConversationsWatch

## Understanding That Feminism May Look Different for Each of Us

MB talks about the importance in discussing different perspectives around feminism and her own identity as an intersectional feminist.

![Marley](data:image/png;base64,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)

MB talks about the importance in discussing different perspectives around feminism and her own identity as an intersectional feminist.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-understanding-that-feminism-may-look-different-for-each-of-us)

[Stories & ConversationsWatch

## Understanding that Feeling Scared and Alone at Times Only Makes Me Human

HM talks about coping with her mental health when she returned to school after her father passed away.

![My Story: Understanding That Feeling Scared and Alone at Times Only Makes Me Human](data:image/png;base64,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)

HM talks about coping with her mental health when she returned to school after her father passed away.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-understanding-that-feeling-scared-and-alone-at-times-only-makes-me-human)

[Stories & ConversationsWatch

## Building a Support System After my Father Passed Away

HM recalls dealing with the death of her father, particularly how she and her siblings supported each other during that difficult time and continue to do so.

![My Story: Building a Support System After my Father Passed Away](data:image/png;base64,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)

HM recalls dealing with the death of her father, particularly how she and her siblings supported each other during that difficult time and continue to do so.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-building-a-support-system-after-my-father-passed-away)

[Stories & ConversationsRead

## CMV During Pregnancy: The Virus Risk No One Taught Me About

Pediatrician Megan Pesch shares her personal experience with congenital CMV, a common viral infection that is rarely discussed, even though it can lead to serious consequences including birth defects and pregnancy loss.

![Megan Pesch CMV Story](data:image/png;base64,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)

Pediatrician Megan Pesch shares her personal experience with congenital CMV, a common viral infection that is rarely discussed, even though it can lead to serious consequences including birth defects and pregnancy loss.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/cmv-during-pregnancy-the-virus-risk-no-one-taught-me-about)

[ResourcesRead

## The Miscarriage and Abortion Hotline

A confidential helpline providing clinical guidance and emotional support for anyone undergoing miscarriage or self-managed abortion.

![matilda-wormwood-4100710](data:image/png;base64,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)

A confidential helpline providing clinical guidance and emotional support for anyone undergoing miscarriage or self-managed abortion.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/health-info/the-miscarriage-and-abortion-hotline)

[ResourcesRead

## An Overview of Pregnancy and Infant Loss

This March of Dimes article discusses conditions that may result in the loss of a pregnancy or a newborn, health disparities in pregnancy loss, and helpful tips for coping with loss.

![A woman sits in an empty nursery hugging a teddy bear](data:image/png;base64,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)

This March of Dimes article discusses conditions that may result in the loss of a pregnancy or a newborn, health disparities in pregnancy loss, and helpful tips for coping with loss.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/health-info/an-overview-of-pregnancy-and-infant-loss)