---
title: Dealing with Infertility
date: 2022-07-05T23:57:00-04:00
author: OBOS Admin
canonical_url: "https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-dealing-with-infertility"
section: "Stories & Conversations"
---
[Donate](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/donate)

[Stories & Conversations](/stories-conversations)# Dealing with Infertility

ES discusses her journey of infertility as she and her husband tried to get pregnant. She addresses being uncomfortable with a male fertility doctor; however, few physicians specialized in infertility at the time. She recalls a painful procedure that made her feel violated and being told afterwards by a nurse that the doctor was known for being "kind of rough with his procedures."

## Transcript

**OBOS Today:** If you want to start with your experience with infertility, if you want to just talk about when that first started?

**ES:**  That started in my late 30s, or kind of my mid-30s to late 30s. So I had recently— I always knew that I wanted to be a mother, but I wasn't someone who was interested in jumping into marriage and building a family quickly. And I did end up finding a partner kind of late in life, so— and who I lived with for a while and then got married to at the age of 35. And my partner is a man, so he's my husband. And we both really wanted children. And started, um, trying, and just after a while, it became clear that it was not going to happen easily, so we had all sorts of tests done. Diagnostic, um, I went through a series of diagnostic tests, and, um, it was really difficult, I realized. More difficult than I thought it would be, to be poked and prodded and, you know, just kind of— just by the very situation, made to feel like there was something wrong with me and that somehow, I had done something to make it happen or I was doing something wrong, and I, um, I had a doctor who was very well known in this area, um, a male doctor, who was— who just a lot of women in my cohort went to, um, who were dealing with infertility.

And I wasn't really that comfortable dealing with a male doctor, but it was— at that time it was— not that many people did that work and a lot of what my interface with his practice was with the nurse practitioner who was a woman, um— But ultimately, I did end up having some procedures.

And one was a— and I don't even remember the name of it, to be honest, but it was just something where I was— a scope was, went up to my tubes and to kind of check around and see what was going on. And it was a very traumatic experience for me. Really traumatic. And I was actually in graduate school at the time, and I was told it would be nothing: you know, I was told it would— you know, wouldn't be a big deal, and so I didn't really clear my schedule afterwards. That was like— I was supposed to proctor an exam, and so I went and I had this done, and it was so painful and so cold and I felt, I really had this feeling that even though I obviously knew this was not the case, but I just had a feeling of being raped, I just had this feeling of, um, just, you know, this thing poking inside of me that I didn't want there, and it hurt incredibly. So, I— and my husband was there, holding my hand and he was, he was great, he was doing fine, um, but ultimately I just made the doctor stop. And I just jumped off the table and I went into the ladies’ room that was nearby and I just sort of— I just was kind of shaking and I just felt really profoundly violated.

And then I came out. And you know, my husband gave me a hug and made sure I was okay, and I, um, I don't remember what my interaction was with the doctor at that point. And then, then, at some point, as I was leaving, or there was some kind of an exit procedure or something and I was talking to someone— a woman, who I think was a nurse in the practice, and I told her, and she said, “How are you doing?”, and I said, “Well actually not that great— it really, really hurt,” and she said to me, “You know, he's known to be kind of rough with his procedures.” And I just felt like, “Why is he doing this job, then?” You know, and why did I not know about this? There's just something that just felt so profoundly wrong about this, and about— and just the idea that there would be this doctor that all these women were flocking to, that he would be so insensitive, that he was known to be rough with his procedures. There's something just really not right about it.

![](/assets/img/monogram.webp)Topics

- [ pregnancy & birth](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/subject-area/pregnancy-birth)
- [ sexual anatomies & sexual health](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/subject-area/sexual-anatomies-sexual-health)
- [ infertility](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/themes/infertility)
- [infertility](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/tags/infertility)
- [self-advocacy](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/tags/self-advocacy)
- [bodily autonomy](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/tags/bodily-autonomy)

![](/assets/img/monogram.webp)### *Why You Can* **Trust Us** 

- We rigorously evaluate all content
- We embrace a reproductive justice framework
- We don’t accept ads or sell products
- We reject funding from the pharmaceutical industry
- We counter misinformation and disinformation
- We address the social, political, and economic factors that affect health and sexuality

[read more](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/why-you-can-trust-us)

Share

[](javascript:void();)[](javascript:void();)[](javascript:void();)[](javascript:void();)

##### More to Explore

[ResourcesRead

## A Disabled Person's Guide to Talking With Your Partner(s) About Sex

Disabled writer Carrie Kaufman created this excellent guide for disabled people who want help communicating sexually with their partners.

![Pexels judita tamosiunaite 2026764 scaled jpg](data:image/png;base64,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)

Disabled writer Carrie Kaufman created this excellent guide for disabled people who want help communicating sexually with their partners.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/health-info/a-disabled-persons-guide-to-talking-with-your-partners-about-sex)

[Stories & ConversationsWatch

## Identifying What Contraception Works Best for You

AB explains what she would advise about choosing a method of birth control.

![My Story- Identifying What Contraception Works Best for You](data:image/png;base64,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)

AB explains what she would advise about choosing a method of birth control.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-identifying-what-contraception-works-best-for-you)

[ResourcesRead

## About the Intersex Rights Movement

A deep exploration of key intersex rights activism -- struggling against a society that incorrectly assumes sexual anatomy is always binary.

![A hand painted yellow with a purple circle on it, appearing to be the intersex flag](data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACAAAAAgCAIAAAD8GO2jAAAACXBIWXMAAA7EAAAOxAGVKw4bAAADLklEQVRIiZWWUbLrNgxDAY0X1713M13AM04/SEryvf1pJpOJY4skQBCM//n7L8kg4sTv67zrff3+cV6/rxMRgUASMjZerBWv+oIXNra8sCRLki1Jq6/+94v/uuLHz5XgPMPPA3Nml3/dpg/0vd9H2QlAYM17Pw+/MyHQDi2m6B9pzq0F/s3SJzRQQTvUIKqYIOjgFXNfCsGa59zF7dB9+MpZv3xy/KriRi9JesBzpCg6x0+OgxjX2aCFO+zQOqVbkg2S9cytjeCTg8PDgAKvqKnoY4As0dIsDdgSeoRHC9ZVO7v2noO5YQhaVXhIhcZXmyT5i8ATdL7kRsCU3gktlExUFGwVhuLRMkKW8fQgh5ABbQWlQotUgsjIKQQKMgYymke2UQU15rnodqc5DAsgEDE0ichIKboU8EzpflenjSgV3bVvKJkElYNBILRStdfntKEkJs1VdeJGsL8wUOh356iqo8CKwxIysdYPBG6xgp5bNp8ciB0/JEVRZOxUqTELFLUbnAmdK+thbOzbYYgyGZJGIZCDsWKzQqzlGrsK4Y5dIDiDpvERDeeqwEmBqJ5EjoyFjcxCgYVDGedELxDWw3hva70Vf5Gz8wCKKZOIIxlZa+3J+9kGwbMd5KZ+vyp6BgUzaI1g/Gp9rA/LAmQfBGNofOWTQkC3oQctrKZIWlKk1ckWqunW9OK5zL/5yUxumpu8AUh6uGww09WWY/vUZ+/UoM3k3Rvr8PNDR6Da+NVT2pA0ljEbpM3C1tMGuRdUz1n/l3jJC2+q2YzJNMY2H2RdloGM1B6tRwrbww+CawYg8A4CW96DNLx4E8UmvIf5wSlVfSjSmbM3ebvhXYcva7G0vvpU93hWZj1VK2kOli0kaicNvM0v0jiPZGmhPQRX9PP5aBDsInaO7BwQFGZIp/yFsoV6L0NVP3DL1D1tuJZIySFnHXwTmFrq9wCc6NdOQOjRXqa+mczleOoEpRC5chTY1B+Mq7HM35jays+x11F1114rEdJrv9RmxMIXM9umNW0qihrHM743czl61dEG7B6Ooi/n+ZByv6rPz69bJwfnYC2NIsb3XuF34A9V+hfXGmCn1TIWmAAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==)

A deep exploration of key intersex rights activism -- struggling against a society that incorrectly assumes sexual anatomy is always binary.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/health-info/about-the-intersex-rights-movement)

[Stories & ConversationsRead

## Nature Does Not Work on Our Time Clock

Kathleen shares her story of struggling with infertility. She discusses coming to terms with the reality that they may not have a child of their own but remains hopeful.

![Infertility Signs Symptoms and Causes scaled jpeg](data:image/png;base64,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)

Kathleen shares her story of struggling with infertility. She discusses coming to terms with the reality that they may not have a child of their own but remains hopeful.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-nature-does-not-work-on-our-time-clock)

[Stories & ConversationsRead

## Learning the Hard Way that Science Has Not Outsmarted Mother Nature

Miriam shares her story of delaying motherhood untile age 40 and being failed by the reproductive technologies that so many people encouraged her to utilize.

![Miriam-Zoll-web](data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACAAAAAgCAIAAAD8GO2jAAAACXBIWXMAAA7EAAAOxAGVKw4bAAAFSElEQVRIiV1WWZIsRxH0WLJ6ngTSMzDd/zB8cQTOAMhA61RGhDsfVT09Iqwt06q70z1Wz7K//f0fECRqml3sPfuc8/f+/df6/Zf968/7l5/On//z/tOP508/vv/3X/vnf9Zv/+5pra/27Q/53Q/r618f3//l7buvb999//anPz+++fbx5ct6PHItj3TAYAAAMzMzmAH28fhh7mZmbuYOD7OEOcxguI/YffC1mcGQZnahXx9zc3e6hzvd3cPDPSIiPDPy8Hx4fkO0x2Ee5nGz3vSXL+73k6f502NI4aAjPCIQoUxmMhfXmnWs9ZjjMccXTiuK/rBcHheH+wXrny0iPM0dd1ySwiKMaZm2Er1wLNSh4+Dx4OMx+wvrpKiq8YV1eKZneISH35HGvUVGRKRHAIKuSkhIF6V0Lp/lc6AOPB6qN9UX1skpSogyCx2HZ3pcBDdiZEZGZmZEZH4Q6FlcARRWcIbtU9YP6zf0Rn1hb01LUmzAtB62VuTyjMi80SMyMzNXpmemZ0AyydxAmAkmgNKMjmD7tE2ht2qzN6cpyQMC87C1fGVkfnDkh62MeEZgksmcVysJIECKw/Fpm41+U2/2nukh6a7RxMJakemZEU+OzA+Si8ABmOQyd/O7fV9BOMvmDdcM9u6umRkYSXheBBHhGRFX9uNJlBGZFmGCQS4LmRvc4VeWwOD4NLrUD9ZjHm9d1dMNsAceuroo/79/Mq9aR5q7AQ65zGXhiJFDBkrk0TYLx6E+5nisfa7jWP0oqq1lzk9d5BHuHyT3fhMY5JILIQTkkCmQKaathV7M1Wut48h95No5k2aE2Y37nLJ4TdklAk+pAGAwuQmOCMgUxmAkIhn5qTnuMroUsIkb2vyWq0tunrrlqav7b8GCwczNZJdTcNdH0C9Lj3DSBPcL7da6S89g+Pgmr9H6WGGAXkrq7nrqy1Nq4kNwTLeI4pmFT0gSACgpGaBrmu9v/2j20nIzx4e/9hlWkAS9jBIp9yRlkBkMICTx+sn48f+XP3+gfPn7hOTLhgxyhknOfd9AhAZykRyQzk9nRPJy7OXsy+/P0J8MsJweMwgwyCCTXIQmZjiDvg6QczumJ90zFRSHHM7MdHdfW0SbuaTsbgP81lGZBFFsTVu3utm3zfTcbCRHHFKCYW706Z7uqoos9wCM5JPgmU2IEsWZKe9WFau7qu/lRrkQKRHQNLqnuy/0qoht5hIiIrsKgONO6l1+tk/7JdF7967au6qqqru6a7rYTWkc8EZXV8XelTtymYdgpCIia9d101DiJdFiznXV1EUw+6y9a++qXbWnbo6R6JKHqiy31/a9LRLmEoYMz6x9RaCbgAzNzNiU9Uad3OecZ53nPl80UzVdlMYlc3kil+1tccJD8CGy6dFZewNwaaCQRnNJtE9ZbdXJ/T7n2Z84ep9d53SPNE7B6KlY8BOesqBsqMh2j2cEkksjhsZnnGVd1lv7Xfuc8+zzvc6zrrV2791TA9BJuPmWL/mSJ+FDBBmx/FUDyUQXneNs77bZqDtFPN/7ybH3+x3B9ADjJBwe7ouetBh4y2LkOe6RXXW9r7hopHNs2qfQG3Vib+67DH2evc/eu/c5vYdNgC7CZUnbZknLgTstFq2XuefUXPNF0Uhj27T11UKFvbk3zz17z95du2t37+lNNmF0EC4veJkXbTvC5E5Z0DxyZp5vFcSMcWzaulGNalWrmt1TNfda7OIUOYQRRuY1a/CGt3ldl7pRcKZIABKNBGlDG2KIGcxoRjPs4QynZ4Yz5GhGGsFkLo5IkeCAYzOywfV+QvwPWt1oFlSpnJ0AAAAASUVORK5CYII=)

Miriam shares her story of delaying motherhood untile age 40 and being failed by the reproductive technologies that so many people encouraged her to utilize.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-learning-the-hard-way-that-science-has-not-outsmarted-mother-nature)

[Stories & ConversationsRead

## Healing From Years of Infertility and Loss

A woman shares her six year journey with infertility, including attempts to become pregnant through IUI and IVF. After several losses, she had a daughter via IVF using a donor egg.

![infertility](data:image/png;base64,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)

A woman shares her six year journey with infertility, including attempts to become pregnant through IUI and IVF. After several losses, she had a daughter via IVF using a donor egg.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-healing-from-years-of-infertility-and-loss)

[Stories & ConversationsRead

## Why Were Other Women Pregnant and Not Me?

A woman shares her story of infertility and how she stopped trusting her body, even though she was eventually able to conceive a child.

![A woman cries over a pregnancy test](data:image/png;base64,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)

A woman shares her story of infertility and how she stopped trusting her body, even though she was eventually able to conceive a child.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-why-were-other-women-pregnant-and-not-me)

[Stories & ConversationsWatch

## Finding a Perimenopause Specialist

JF recalls the research she did to find a perimenopause specialist in her area who would accept her insurance.

![My Story- Finding a Perimenopause Specialist](data:image/png;base64,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)

JF recalls the research she did to find a perimenopause specialist in her area who would accept her insurance.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-finding-a-perimenopause-specialist)