---
title: Miscarriage
date: 2024-02-27T16:49:00-05:00
author: OBOS Admin
canonical_url: "https://ourbodiesourselves.org/health-info/miscarriage"
section: Resources
---
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[Health & Sexuality Info](/health-info)# Miscarriage

By Ash Harlan, CNM, with updates by Our Bodies Ourselves • Last Updated: April 18, 2026

![An outline of a female body, her hand over her lower abdominal area, one tear comes down from her eye.](data:image/png;base64,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) Illustration by Paulina Méndez

*The following text uses the word “pussy\*” as defined by* [**Pussypedia**](https://www.pussypedia.net/pussy-definition).

## What is Going On?

A miscarriage is when a pregnancy ends spontaneously prior to 20 weeks.1 For most people who experience a miscarriage, the common symptoms are bleeding and/or cramping.2 Sometimes a miscarriage presents with no symptoms and may be diagnosed at a healthcare provider visit. A miscarriage is confirmed by an ultrasound. If the ultrasound shows that the embryo does not have a heartbeat then a miscarriage is confirmed. Blood tests that show low or decreasing levels of human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) hormone can also determine a miscarriage.1

The process of creating a human is incredibly complex, and requires a series of events to go just right. Miscarriages in the first trimester of pregnancy (up to 14 weeks of pregnancy) can occur for many reasons. About half occur because of chromosomal abnormalities that result in errors in the process of parental DNA splitting apart and recombining.2 The DNA pieces may miss the right spot, or disappear, or make an extra copy. These errors are called “chromosomal abnormalities.”3 Sometimes chromosomal abnormalities cause a miscarriage.1,2 This is not because either parent did anything wrong. It is because the process of pregnancy is complex and sometimes errors occur. Other factors that increase risk of miscarriage include the pregnant person being 40 or older,1,2 previous miscarriages, thyroid issues, uncontrolled diabetes, smoking and alcohol use.1

A common misperception about miscarriage is that it is a singular experience, and that the person experiencing it can only feel grief. It is important to know that there are many different ways someone may process a miscarriage. Cultural values, religion, family, and life experiences can affect the way someone reacts to miscarriage. Mourning is normal. Holding a ceremony and naming the baby is normal. Feeling a sense of relief is normal. Wanting to move on and try for the next pregnancy soon is normal. Wanting to wait, or not try for another pregnancy is normal. Furthermore, and this is important, whether or not the pregnancy was desired or if an abortion was planned, does not determine what the “right” reaction is. The range of emotion is vast, and no response should be labeled wrong or incorrect.

## How common is this?

It is difficult to say just how common miscarriage is, since miscarriage can occur before a person knows they are pregnant (such as before 6 weeks of pregnancy, around the time of a missed period). In diagnosed pregnancies, miscarriage occurs 10-15% of the time, mostly before 13 weeks of pregnancy.1,2

Miscarriage is common but not often discussed publicly, which may make it seem less common. Given the known rate of miscarriage, it is likely that you know someone who has experienced a miscarriage. How, when, or if someone chooses to discuss their miscarriage is a personal choice. In the author’s professional experience, sharing can be therapeutic, and if desired, should not be discouraged.

## How can I take care of my pussy\*?

Pregnancy providers encourage patients to call if they experience any bleeding from their pussy\* or pelvic cramping. It is important to have a pregnancy provider promptly check where the bleeding is coming from, if there is a risk of ectopic pregnancy, and if the embryo is healthy.

Following a miscarriage, the pregnancy care provider will determine if any further evaluation is needed, such as testing thyroid or progesterone levels. It may be determined that no further testing is needed, and it is time for the family or individual to seek emotional healing. In the author’s professional experience, some people have found strength and support in online or in-person groups, speaking with friends or family who have experienced a miscarriage, professional therapy, or holding a ceremony for the lost pregnancy.

If someone is experiencing their first miscarriage, steps to prevent a miscarriage will most likely not be discussed. As stated before, miscarriages are not uncommon occurrences. Most people go on to have successful pregnancies.2 If someone experiences recurrent miscarriages, the pregnancy care provider will want further testing to assess possible underlying causes.2

**Author’s Dedication:** To all the hunnies out there who have lost – you are loved.

## Sources

1. American College of Nurse Midwives. “[Share With Women: Miscarriage.](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/jmwh.12084)” Journal of Midwifery and Women’s Health. 58(4). (2013): 479-80.
2. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. “[Frequently Asked Questions: Pregnancy: Early Pregnancy Loss.](https://www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Early-Pregnancy-Loss#how)” (2015, last updated 2024, last reviewed 2025)
3. “[Chromosomal Abnormalities.](https://www.genome.gov/11508982/chromosome-abnormalities-fact-sheet/#al-5)” Genome.gov. Accessed 2025.

*This article was previously published in* [**Pussypedia**](https://www.pussypedia.net/articles/miscarriage-article) *and is reposted and revised with permission.*

![](/assets/img/monogram.webp)Topics

- [ sexual anatomies & sexual health](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/subject-area/sexual-anatomies-sexual-health)
- [ pregnancy & birth](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/subject-area/pregnancy-birth)
- [ pregnant bodies](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/themes/pregnant-bodies)
- [infertility](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/tags/infertility)
- [miscarriage](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/tags/miscarriage)
- [grief and grieving](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/tags/grief-and-grieving)

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## It’s Time to Talk about Miscarriage and the Workplace

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## “I’ve got bad news for you”

A woman shares her emotions and struggles after learning that one of the twins that she was pregnant with had died.

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## Pregnancy After Infertility or Previous Pregnancy Loss

The previous experience of infertility brings its own set of baggage to a pregnancy, including grief, anxiety, and fear.

![A black and white photo, a pregnant woman wearing a black top and black leggings is holding a small teddy bear.](data:image/png;base64,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)

The previous experience of infertility brings its own set of baggage to a pregnancy, including grief, anxiety, and fear.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/health-info/pregnancy-after-infertility-or-previous-pregnancy-loss)

[Stories & ConversationsWatch

## Dealing with Infertility

ES describes her journey of infertility as she and her husband tried to get pregnant and a painful procedure with a male doctor while seeking a diagnosis.

![Elena](data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACAAAAAgCAIAAAD8GO2jAAAACXBIWXMAAA7EAAAOxAGVKw4bAAAE5UlEQVRIiV1WbY7kuhEjJfUMsMjfHD8HyBFyp+x7Ad72tC0VyfyQ3bOJURCqG3Z9kVUl/uNf/wRIEOxkBzs5yA4OsIM9aEBz4MCJbVmSqkqqqlVrap9rqaarVCuSLTiNABEQQIAQW/mfJ//3T+5XEiSXcn+Ytx4AGUQAAiGC7QzYSrC/v60nSBInSYw48a0ENt5n7g+T0RAwQANCeCuAgcYk3O8hSYLYsRNdyhYpfoth4a0ko9MAAYO8TRtoiUMyDO70roi1LVqVLRZUkaCCCxYkWLBhjw4DABqwoeC2BBKX9SRMYCd2ZKu2datSy7VcK1qpSlW08nYQjw4BxBWoACYK6fAGLzB3fSxbirSNei3XypqpmbVSK7WignYSTjIGBPKiURAyoCOC2UwIY8S3g6pbptdyTa/ptVLTtVK1yxV7Az46BRDYaMJhSAQBedGGMaLs8F1SLa+lNV3La15S86pPKb7CRzJ6BABsG1+CCu6MOmyYMay4ZEmrXEtrak3NqXVqzSsbLdd3+LshRkcB3CQEbp7uSiUwY0ZJxSVXeS2tpXVe1ufpNbXOXZ9NqjiwN0FGiwAELeh3P5EAnKTFzGaE5JJXXYHP85J1eJ5e8yKSdovsXgOA0VIAg+x2IPhGA2kQI7zD11qeS/PUPHQemofm4Xl8Y3BV/3ucDEa5RwXfEyWAe5wIESzv8H2V/tB56Hxt8Ty8TtdMLezwd2+CAAbs3+aUdokSxImaBRdScunCdlfmPHS+6vjy+aXz5XVknVHBQpAQaEQDOeLNmgtlh4luB4lu/lR53aTcJTpeOr50PH0+PV9ZR7RiIwQ60MkGtGE5YNACOwzkcNPMe6S/Aaj1ncR56tw+njr+8vkr65k6YQMD+AAfe6OM0jUNEhpWmmMHMix6s07a3at103TO7aNeX3795fMPnz9TuAYbP9D+Bn6CY1TlxnWDaoUy7HuilH1hsAu1a7U0l85Tx6HXL79++kAWcjmY6H+g/QA/xyr85gBGlMgpW4YKkvXtYHfDZlRpls6p15ee8BPbBzYED6B/oc0x1zczdzdsBzLKUMW1h6hdTvn6WVHZy5quo/SEfsLre5lez6PGufakI0CDu8OcyJAh3Uulkntr3dSiilpd87N+PbUgwO9tvR0sjGO1XbZ85wEHNuRIvy3EawEjYtziZg3rUetHPf9TsPDt453HeC1eSx4t77kdJNda1TV9YSF79oVxc7ozlE/5R+XvC/8uqO6VawDowWN8zSsD8mru6wzjtw9YvK23pAc9GMGH8Sn+KHihL3wtHAULzRjGANp4zkYABEGSBEnwfT/a3XBtNCZEWtKCETzMh9unm4pZ6Sc+JtaEFlKgQIPjuQiQQCMvAdq18okEgk3vyqQFDejAAEfah5s0rE+so50YL6wv6Akfbwyes+G6OKKTnVtBA1vCECZu6wiRBvawhyN8pMk99Zl18ET7hfEn6hsFZPyqtkdfJwY5vk+0oCE0YOQa5w37b3a0gab0h7v14QUc4J9oQPsd6fGsXR88yAfxaDCvYd43+CbD5OoVsIF9n2k9baTLw4W8cN86L7oayPgSCQxChBsTsKERjSGvMYswee8QXpzePtjSuntX7y/5t1bbr2WcRgNMgmhAb1AgoF+tl7tlrqvZncd9soUtrXm0pV2fdrcaAfwXZxiqfwx6SKMAAAAASUVORK5CYII=)

ES describes her journey of infertility as she and her husband tried to get pregnant and a painful procedure with a male doctor while seeking a diagnosis.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-dealing-with-infertility)

[Stories & ConversationsRead

## Nature Does Not Work on Our Time Clock

Kathleen shares her story of struggling with infertility. She discusses coming to terms with the reality that they may not have a child of their own but remains hopeful.

![Infertility Signs Symptoms and Causes scaled jpeg](data:image/png;base64,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)

Kathleen shares her story of struggling with infertility. She discusses coming to terms with the reality that they may not have a child of their own but remains hopeful.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-nature-does-not-work-on-our-time-clock)

[Stories & ConversationsRead

## Learning the Hard Way that Science Has Not Outsmarted Mother Nature

Miriam shares her story of delaying motherhood untile age 40 and being failed by the reproductive technologies that so many people encouraged her to utilize.

![Miriam-Zoll-web](data:image/png;base64,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)

Miriam shares her story of delaying motherhood untile age 40 and being failed by the reproductive technologies that so many people encouraged her to utilize.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/stories-conversations/my-story-learning-the-hard-way-that-science-has-not-outsmarted-mother-nature)

[ResourcesRead

## How Do I Tell a Partner I'm Intersex?

How do you tell a crush, date, romantic⁠ interest, or current partner⁠ that you are intersex? This advice can work for any type of relationship⁠.

![A young couple sits together on the beach](data:image/png;base64,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)

How do you tell a crush, date, romantic⁠ interest, or current partner⁠ that you are intersex? This advice can work for any type of relationship⁠.](https://ourbodiesourselves.org/health-info/how-do-i-tell-a-partner-im-intersex)