Differentiating "Bad Sex" from Coercive Sex and Sexual Assault

“Bad sex” is sometimes used as code for “sex you didn’t want to have in the first place but didn’t feel comfortable saying no to.” Writer Marianne Kirby clarifies the essential differences between bad sex–like when you realize the dog is staring at you and it kills the vibe–and sexual assault or rape.

“When we shy away from acknowledging the experiences of others as a way of avoiding our own, when we minimize and dismiss sexual assault out of a misguided effort to protect ourselves from the potential difficulty of owning what happened to us, we are complicit in rape culture. We protect a system in which coercive sex is considered normal, just a rite of passage, just part of a shitty date.”